Sweet Memories
by Laura16
Summary: Some losses can be too painful to face without a guardian angel. A tissue alert has been issued.


Scarecrow and Mrs. King are owned by Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon. All SMK characters remain their property. The story premise and characters created for this story are the property of the author. The author has not profited from this story.

**TISSUE ALERT**

This story is written in memory of Beverly Garland. What a wonderful and classy lady she was. After meeting her at the SMK 20th Reunion in 2003 and watch her greet fans ("Hello dear!"), handle the details of running a large hotel, all the while being warm and gracious to us all, I came to the conclusion that there was much of Beverly in Dotty and vice versa. Ms. Garland gave Dotty her own indomitable spirit and it's in tribute to her and her lively strength of character that I wrote this story.

Thanks to Amy for taking the time out of her busy schedule to beta for me.

This follows the story lines I began in Goodbyes, Lazy Afternoon, Scarecrow Exposed, Birthdays and Moving Day.

Sweet Memories

For each thorn, there's a rosebud...  
for each twilight — a dawn...  
for each trial — the strength to carry on,  
For each storm cloud — a rainbow...  
for each shadow — the sun...  
for each parting — sweet memories  
when sorrow is done.  
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The front screen door closed very quietly and Amanda Stetson sighed.

It had been nearly five months and Lee's grief had not lessened. Amanda, at times, felt guilty that her own grief, though deep and piercing, had been tempered by the release from the suffering she knew death had brought her mother.

And she missed her keenly, every day with everything that was within her. But she had been lucky; she had her mother all her life and like her mother, she looked at death and did not fear defeat at its hand. As long as her mother lived within her, as long as she was remembered, she was only gone from her sight, not her heart.

It wasn't something she could explain to her husband. She had tried, but his grief, his grief he would have to master for himself.

_Mother would be able to explain it better-make him understand_, she told herself. She felt such sorrow at not being able to ease his heartache. _I wish you could help Mothe_r; _I wish you could show me how to do this. We all miss you, but Lee feels your loss deeper and sharper. _

Leaning over the kitchen counter, she plugged in the coffee maker and opened the cabinet to pull down two mugs. Reaching in without looking, she put her own mug on the counter and reached in for another coffee cup for Lee.

Her hand encountered a cup she hadn't seen or felt in nearly a year. Poking her head around the cabinet door, her eyes widened at what she saw.

Lee's favorite coffee mug sat just behind the support bar of the cabinet. Lost for months, they had given up looking for it and Lee had begun to drink his coffee from the collection of house mugs. But everyone had been able to tell; he hadn't enjoyed coffee as much as he did from his mug.

The mug Mother had given him.

Mug in hand, Amanda gave the cup an inspection, looking for signs of repair. There were none. Odd, she thought. Though it didn't look as though it needed it, she washed the cup and set it in the dish drainer while she collected the half and half from the refrigerator. _Maybe Jenny had found it and put it in the cabinet when she was home last weekend. Maybe Jamie had it in that collection of 'stuff' called an apartment. _

She shrugged and poured two cups of coffee. Taking a deep breath, Amanda took the mugs and headed out to the front porch.

Lee was sitting on the steps, his back against the column of the porch. He looked up as Amanda came out and nodded. "Thanks," he said as he took the cup she handed him and took a sip of coffee before returning to his thoughts.

Amanda squared her shoulders and sat on the step next to him. Today was their traditional 'Spring Cleaning' day, a day never missed, never moved back, never approached without the proper enthusiasm.

It wasn't that the house needed a major cleaning. It was that every spring they-Amanda, Lee and Mother-cleaned the house within an inch of its proverbial life. They would laugh, joke, tease, bet, race and in Lee's case-finagle his way out of work before ending the day with dinner out.

Amanda wanted to do it because she wanted to feel close to her mother. Lee wanted nothing to do with it because Dotty wasn't there. _Mother, I wish you could tell me what to do to make Lee feel better; he misses you so much. _

She caught a glimpse of her husband out of the corner of her eye and turned just as Lee realized what he was holding. Surprise flared in his eyes as they flew to hers; his question needing no voice.

"I found it in the cabinet this morning. I think maybe Jenny put it in there when she was home last week or perhaps Jamie did have it at his place after all."

Lee nodded and looked at the cup, a wistful smile twisting his lips. "I've sure missed this thing. Coffee just doesn't taste as good in any of the others." He raised the cup in a silent salute and drank deeply before setting it down on the porch. "I suppose you still want to go through with Spring Cleaning today," he asked; no eagerness in his tone.

"Well, yes, I do want to do that today. It's something Mother and I did every year and if I don't do it this year, I'm going to miss her all the more."

Picking up his mug, Lee finished his coffee and stood, offering Amanda his hand. Giving a light tug, he pulled her to her feet and forced a smile for her. "Okay, let's get started then." Putting his arm around her shoulders, they walked back into the house where Lee carefully put his mug on the counter. Leaning against the sink, he folded his arms across his chest. "What do you want me to do?"

Amanda turned to the table and picked up the notebook she had been writing in earlier. "If we both take out the rugs, then I'll start vacuuming and dusting and if you would rake the flower beds...."

Lee nodded and went into the living room to start. Amanda sighed, she knew he was only doing this for her. She would have to tread carefully.

SMKSMKSMKSMK

"Amanda! Would you come out here for a minute?"

Looking up from her dusting, Amanda went to the kitchen door and stepped out into the side yard.

Lee was leaning on the rake looking at the flower bed under the kitchen window. With the leaves removed, the tender green shoots of daffodils and tulips were reaching through the warming spring soil.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"Look at them, I mean, look at how many of them there are. We never had this many spring bulbs come up before."

Amanda shrugged. "They do multiply-maybe this year is the year they will all come up and bloom."

"That figures," Lee said bitterly before he dropped to one knee to inspect the tiny floret's thriving among the daffs and tulips. "What are these? I don't remember ever seeing these before."

Amanda's eyes widened as she recognized the plant. "Those are crocus! How did they get in there? And they usually bloom earlier in the year. Did Mother have you plant any new bulbs in the beds last fall?"

Lee shook his head sadly, Dotty had been too ill to bother about the garden. "No. She did talk about how she had always wanted to see these beds overflowing with flowers though," his voice broke as the thought came to him that Mom had missed seeing these flowers. "Sorry Amanda," he said gruffly and moved to the next bed.

Amanda choked back her own tears and watched the next bed be uncovered. There within the borders was the same profusion of growth. She shook her head as she walked along the beds inspecting the flowers. "I can't believe this. When all of these bloom, it's going to be unbelievably beautiful."

"It's all too late," Lee said with a vicious swipe at the dead leaves on the patio stones. "Too damn late." He stalked off toward the garage leaving Amanda on the patio wiping away her tears.

"Oh Mother," she whispered. "What do I do?"

SMKSMKSMKSMK

Amanda put the final curtain back on the rod and stood back to look at the family room. Late afternoon light spilled through the windows, beams bouncing off the polished surfaces, twinkling about the room. Smiling at a job well done, Amanda picked up her tools and walked into the kitchen to put them away when she heard Lee yelling for her.

Fear sliced through her as she ran out the door and into the backyard. She came to a stop beside Lee as he turned and pointed to the lilac bush.

"Look at this Amanda. I've been threatening to dig that bush up and burn it for years, but Mom would never let me, always saying it would bloom next year. It's been nothing but dead wood, not even a leaf on it for as long as we've been in this house. Look at it!"

Amanda studied the old lilac and couldn't believe her eyes. There were leaf buds on each branch, new green wood where there had only been dead. She shook her head in disbelief. Looking at the earth to see if Lee had dug up the old bush and replaced it, she found solid ground without a mark in the soil. "I don't understand. This lilac has been dead and the wood mildewed for years, I don't understand how this could happen!"

Lee tossed the rake to the ground and turned to leave but Amanda stopped him with a touch to his sleeve. "Sweetheart," she beseeched him, wanting him to share with her the hurt he tried but failed to keep hidden.

"Someone had to have come in here and dug up that bush and when I find out who did, I'm going to...." He bit off his words, not wanting the release the harsh sounds would afford him in his private pain.

They both stood and studied the thriving plant; neither knowing what to say.

Amanda finally shook her head. "No one replaced the bush, Lee. Look at this," she pointed to the thick trunk. "Remember when Jenny carved her initials in the wood? They're still here."

Lee traced the old scars in the trunk with his fingers, remembering the day their six year old daughter had taken the chef's knife from the kitchen and put her mark on the tree for all to see.

Shaking his head, Lee stepped back from the tree; his expression registering surprise, shock and disbelief. "I was just remembering what Mom had said to me that day, about Jenny having a very busy platoon of guardian angels watching over her. I told her someone had better assign one to me because I wasn't going to make it through Jenny's childhood."

"And Mother said she was yours," Amanda's voice trailed off as she looked at the once dead tree. Turning, she considered all the plants, bushes and trees in their yard. Everything was greener and looked more vigorous this year.

Lee followed Amanda's gaze with his own before turning back to her. "You don't think...."

"Oh no, no. It's just, just a coincidence."

Nodding, Lee looked around the yard again. "Yeah, yeah you're right." He bent over and picked up the rake where he had dropped it. "Still...."

"I know, still. But it's just a coincidence, sweetheart."

Lee draped his arm about his wife's shoulders and walked with her to the house after putting the rake away. "What do you say we go out to dinner-what about that place in Bethesda?"

"That was Mother's favorite restaurant."

"Yeah, I know. I know it's a coincidence with the flower beds and the lilac-even my mug, but Mom would have been so happy to see the yard today and I just want to-well, I just want to go someplace she liked."

Amanda was glad for the darkened room, so Lee couldn't see the tears that welled in her eyes. She nodded and pointed to the stairs. "I'm going to go get ready then."

"I'll follow in a minute," he promised.

Lee waited until Amanda had closed their bedroom door behind her before he stepped to the windows that opened on the side yard flower beds. He still couldn't believe the transformation in the yard and something told him not to examine it too closely.

For the first time in the months since Dotty had died, he thought of her and felt something warm and comforting spread through his chest. The loss was still there, but thinking about her right now made him feel that he had been the luckiest of men to have had her in his life for so long.

It was what Amanda had been trying to explain all along.

With a final look out the window, he turned and headed upstairs to shower and get ready for dinner. As he hit the first landing, he looked out the window that faced the other side of the house and overlooked a bank of roses.

Coincidence or not, Lee grinned. "Don't forget the roses, Mom. They were looking pretty spindly last year." He bounded up the stairs as Amanda called out for him to hurry.

As he turned away, he missed the slight breeze that gently plucked the dead leaves away from the crown of each rose bush; allowing the setting sun to warm the earth and ready a new season.


End file.
